https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-jui2s-1b93b38
I guess I can say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or someone pissed in my wheaties. At least I woke up right. I take you into a huge episode in my brain to show you the fight I take on every single day and how exhausting it is. And how I talk myself down and then try to move forward. It is extremely difficult. TW: SUICIDE
HIGHLIGHTS
Three years, three years. I’ve been doing this show. You would think that people might have caught on by it by now, but they don’t. They don’t. And is it what? Is it because I’m annoying? Is it because I’m too loud? Is it because I’m something wrong with me? Is it because of the speech impediment? Let me say something, okay? And I had this revelation in therapy, and I think therapy is really fucking me up lately because I am really getting deep and dark in the weeds of Michael, and I am telling you, it is not a good place to be. And the reason why it’s not a good place to be is because it’s bringing up a whole bunch of fucking self-esteem issues. It’s bringing up a whole bunch of insecurity. And then when I take a look at what’s going on in my life day to day right now, I see all that insecurity playing out. I see those patterns that I might have been stuck at as a child. I might still be stuck in. I am sitting here telling the world, please fucking notice me. Please fucking like me. Please, please, please, please.
And some people have let go of me because they think I’m too fucking crazy to be around. And then I have to start asking myself: Am I really crazy? Should I go into a sylla? Should I be taken out of society? I have to ask these questions of myself, right? I am positive of myself that there is an angel, but I know for a fact that there’s definitely a devil in I, and I keep working on trying to find a way to work with it, and somehow it always gets the best of me. All the bad thoughts that come in my head, all those suicidal thoughts, all that shit is part of that devil. How do I get rid of it? How do I stop it? I just want it to go away. Is that too much to fucking ask?
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