https://www.podbean.com/media/share/pb-3uf25-1b27a8f
As I get older, I wrestle with my life. Did I make the right decisions? Was it a productive life? Did I do the right things? I even think about if is it time for me to go. How the hell do you walk that shit back? All this lovely bullshit I talk about today as well as so much more. Nice soundtrack today too.
HIGHLIGHTS
If you saw the Michael moment face Friday FaceTime on Friday, then you know, you know that I have been feeling kind of shitty. I was talking about a lot of image issues, like you know, self-image, just not feeling good. I didn’t like the way my hair looked. I didn’t like the way my body looked. I didn’t like the way my bank account looked. Yeah, I was really negative during that, and I mean, I tried to turn it around, obviously, and make it positive, and talk about, you know, that. I think the ultimate thing was when I’ve tried to discuss problems with people, they will say, “Well, we all got problems, and it really, I think, as when you’re trying to open up to someone, and that’s the response, it is one of the most invalidating bullshit things that someone could say. So at that point, you know, you feel defeated and you feel alone. And here’s the truth: I’ve been feeling really alone for the last year or so, and I think part of that came from the fact I did.
I I just want to look normal and I want to be normal, And I guess I don’t know what normal is, but I mean, well, the truth of the matter is, is that as we get older, the clock’s ticking, right? The clock is ticking on life because we never know when our number is going to get called. We never know when we’re going to be pulled, and we never know when we’re going to have to face that time when we come face to face with God. And I feel like I’ve got a lot of unfinished business going on right now. I have a lot of unfinished business with being a parent, being a husband, putting this show on the map, and getting people, and just helping do my part to try to help people through their shit, whether they rage out, whether they feel depressed, whatever it is.
All right, you are going into the swimming pool, and you are the only person in that pool. When you go into the pool, the pool is clean, right? There’s nothing in there. It might be a little chlorine, but there’s nothing unless you are pissing and shitting in that pool. You don’t have to worry about the little kids coming in there and doing it for you. You don’t have to worry about other people coming, bringing their shit in there, right? And when I say shit, I’m not smart the literal shit. I’m just too much like whatever shit, you know. They got some skin shit, and it’s going. I don’t want to. I don’t want to scare people from going into a swimming pool, so I’ll shut the fuck up. But here, so you’re in this pool, and when you’re in this pool, one person comes in, and they are bringing their shit into the pool. And then two, then three. Eventually, there are fucking 25 motherfuckers in that pool, and you started there with a clean pool, and now you don’t know what the hell’s going on, right? So obviously, you’re going to get out of the pool. But the pool was yours. You enjoyed the pool. You wanted to go in the pool. You didn’t want people to ruin it for you. Your experience in the pool, that is. So. When you get out of the pool, the question is this: Are you going to go back in the pool? Yeah, when shit clears out, you will, right? And that’s what we do in life: is we don’t understand that the pool is always there for us. The pool is always there for us to swim in. The pool is always there for us to hang out in.
MICHAEL CASERNO 
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